Title: A Matter of Taste
Author: Ophelia
Posted: 03-28-2002
Disclaimer: I own nothing, just ask my non-existent banker
Note: This fic is dedicated to Princess Twilite. She was the inspiration for it, not to mention the harassing force behind me writing it.
Summary: Short, fluffy, conversation fic. Takes place sometime in the near future, after all the angst!
“I can’t believe you made me watch that.”
End.
“Angel…”
“How is that any kind of entertainment?”
“Pbbbtthh.”
“That was eloquent, Cordy.”
“Oh please, you know exactly what me and my tongue meant.”
“Hardly ever.”
“Fine, you need me to spell it out? You are not now, nor will you ever be a good barometer of entertainment for normal people.”
“Hey!”
“What?”
“I can be normal…well, almost normal. My tastes are refined. I like the classics and that was not a classic.”
“Oh, get the holier than thou look off your face, Angel. You not liking that movie had nothing to do with your older than Moses taste. Now move.”
“Move?”
“Are we speaking the same language? Yes, MOVE! It’s my freaking couch and I want to sit down too you big cushion hog.”
“Fine…that enough room for you?”
“Ahhh, plenty, thanks. Now start rubbing.”
“Geez! Cord…watch where you’re landing those things!”
“Come a little close to the family jewels, did we?”
“It’s not funny!”
“Either is your taste in movies, Omega Man.”
“Fine, Cor. You know so much….why don’t you tell me why you think I don’t like that movie.”
“Oh, that’s easy!”
“Good, then you can enlighten us lesser beings.”
“Angel, for future reference? Sarcasm? Not a look that works well on you.”
‘”Cordelia…”
“Ooh, the warning voice. Been awhile since that one came out. Hm. Still not scary.”
“That’s it”
“Hey! Angel….stop….stop, stop! Hehehehe..NO! Bad touching! Bad touching!”
“I beg to differ. Why are you so squirmy Cordy? Problem?”
“No….hehehehe….Stop! Tickling is not allowed! You are abusing your touching privileges!”
“Really? What exactly are you going to do about it?”
“Angel…..damn it…hehehehe….I’ll take them away! If you don’t……stop…….soon…..there will be no more touching ever!!”
“Wow”
“Wow, what, Cordelia?”
“Just wow… I didn’t expect that to work so quickly.”
“Well, you looked like you were going to spill your drink.”
“Uh, huh. Me thinks someone takes their touching privileges very seriously.”
“Please. That had nothing to do with it, so stop looking so pleased with yourself.”
“Why are you so squirmy Angel? Problem? Hmmmm?”
“Maybe because you just made me sit through 2 hours of suck, Cordelia. I’m bored.”
“Angel! THAT! MOVIE! DID! NOT! SUCK!”
“Ow! Now who is abusing the touching? You are going to bust your pillow if you aren’t careful. That silk is pretty fragile and you don’t want to grip it too hard near the seam….what?”
“Oh, don’t let me interrupt Martha. Please continue.”
“Martha?”
“I’m sorry, would you prefer to just go by Mr. Gay?”
‘What the hell are you talking about?”
“You are going to give yourself lines if you keep scowling like that.”
‘”Stop laughing at me Cordy.”
“Angel, I can safely promise to never stop laughing at you.”
“Aren’t you forgetting something?”
“Hm?”
“You’re avoiding.”
“Avoiding?”
“Yes. You are stalling, trying to come up with reasons why your movie didn’t suck.”
“Angel, Angel, Angel. This isn’t about why the movie doesn’t suck, it’s about why you think it does.”
“Fortune Cookie wisdom? That’s beneath you, Cord.”
“Let go of my foot, Angel. Don’t think I don’t see you looking at it, plotting the return of the bad touching.”
“Hey. Innocent bystander here. You are the one that plopped your feet in mylap.”
“Whatever.”
“Cordy, the movie?”
“Oh yeah, that’s simple.”
“And…..”
“You didn’t like it because it struck a little close to home.”
“Uhhhhh”
“Don’t give me that blank stare, Angel, you know exactly what I am talking about.”
“Cordelia, I haven’t the slightest idea what you are talking about. But why doesn’t that surprise me?”
“Ok, try this scenario on for size, dumbass: Dark haired boy and Dark hair girl are best friends that promise to be together forever. Dark haired boy loooovves Dark haired girl but she spurns his advances because she is afraid to ruin the friendship. She doesn’t want to lose her best friend. So Dark Hair boy winds up with Blonde Girl, and this makes Dark Haired girl see the error of her ways. She tries to make amends, win back her friend by declaring her love, but alas its too late…. he spurns her and rides off into the sunset with the blonde, leaving our dark haired heroine alone with some alcohol and her gay companion.”
“You are insane.”
“Insanely Perceptive, maybe”
“How is not possible that we never noticed your insanity before now?”
“You don’t like the movie cause it hits a little too close to home their, bucko.”
“Cordelia”
“Angel”
“Cordelia”
“Angel” “No really, keep going, I can do this all night.”
“This has nothing to do with me.”
“You are right.”
“Cordy, I’m serious, you don’t….wait. I’m right?”
“Yup.”
“Why is it those words frighten me?”
“It’s absolutely not about you, at least not the way you think.”
“Uh, huh….”
“It’s about me. You don’t like this movie because somewhere in your addled, sweet brain, you think that this movie implies that I am going to end up alone, drinking alcohol with Lorne.”
“I….you…..Lorne….what?”
“You heard me.”
“Cordy, I don’t….we…..what do you think that I….”
“Relax big fella. I have no intention of letting things get that far before I come to my senses.”
“You….you don’t?”
“Not a chance.”