Part 4 (of 6)

Cordelia lay back on the blanket as she watched her two favorite dorks play on the swings. It was tough to decide which of the two was having more fun. Of course, Angel would have fun picking cotton as long as it was a sunny day.

The gang had all been ecstatic at the news of the pregnancy when they visited earlier. Wes and Gunn dropped non-too subtle hints about what a great name Charles or Wesley was. Fred clapped her hands and tried to tell everyone she could feel the Moira years ago.

Angel reveled in the congratulations of being a Daddy again until he remembered they were losing precious sun time. Cordelia smiled and politely accepted the kind words, but inside, she was worried.

For the longest time she had wished that Connor was hers in every way. A good many nights had been spent with Angel convincing her that she alone was Connor’s mother. Darla was just the vessel, Cordelia was the one who loved and cared for the boy.

But she would give birth to the life inside her. She’d spend nine months connected physically with this child. And she was scared she’d love this child more than Connor because of that.

Cordelia didn’t want that. She loved Connor so much. She had fought demons to protect him, and need be, would have given her life up without question. But the doubt remained. She never had this with Connor, she thought as she stroked her stomach.

Connor giggled madly as Angel twirled his around in a game of ‘airplane’. Cordelia reached the sudden conclusion that she wouldn’t love this new child more. She had plenty of room in her heart to love both children equally. Cordelia imagined that to be a pretty profound thought. Certainly not one that she would have had as an 18 year old.

Of course, as an 18 year old, she would have thought it disgusting to sleep with someone who used to be a demon. She never would have entertained the notion of motherhood. Cordelia wrinkled her lovely face in thought. Life certainly would have sucked.

But as a 26 year old she was extremely happy with the choices she had made. Sure, there had been some pain and heartache. But in the end, she had married someone she loved dearly, had a beautiful baby boy, and had another child on the way. There were a lot of women, and men, who would do some crazy things to have that.

“Hey Cor!” Angel called. “Connor wants you to help him untangle his kite string.”

Cordy rolled her eyes at the ex-vampire. “What you meant was that you twisted it into a knot and now can’t straighten it out?” Angel had the graciousness to look embarrassed. “Dork,” she said. Taking the kite string, she began to slowly untangle it. Angel went off to chase Connor around the seesaw.

Cordelia muttered a few curses at Angel as she pulled at the string. The dork was always doing something like this. Well, no man was perfect.

“Would you like anything else, sir?” the pretty waitress flirted with the man holding the purple teddy bear.

“No thank you,” Angel said politely as the waitress went off to retrieve hot dogs for the group. Taking a break at a food stand, Angel sat dejectedly while clutching the bear. What was taking Cordy? This place was no fun without her. But of course, Angel thought, the Ice-capades would be fun as long as Cordy was there.

As Gunn pondered whether to get himself a purple teddy bear so girls would flirt with him, Angel asked once more what was taking Cordy.

“Dude, knock it off. The girl’s fine.” Gunn muttered under his breathe, “You are so whipped.”

“I know you are but what am I?” Angel shot back. Gunn tried to retort, but instead bad mouth motions similar to a fish.

“I hate you,” Gunn said.

Josephine continued to move around the tent cleaning as she waited for the young one to return from her trip. Walking to the pretty Seer, Josephine brushed some hair away from the girl’s face.

“You find happiness,” Josephine smiled. “I hope you’ll realize that it doesn’t have to be a mere fantasy.” Josephine let the girl be and went to her truck out back to fetch more herbs.