Title: Teenagers
Rating: G
Author: Celeste
Pairings: D/C, mentions S/B
Summary: Spike and Angel's worst nightmares come to fruition.
Genre: Humor
Disclaimer: Joss owns all. I wonder if he'll let me have Spike...
A/N: I was bored, this is a silly little piece. Wrote this in about ten minutes. Strange concept, but my brain isn't working from studying for SAT and AP exams. It just kind of became. Everyone who knows me knows that my muse is weird. Oh, and also unbeta'd...because I was too embarrassed. :P Enjoy...
Feedback: (if you're not too weirded out...) keviesprincess@netscape.net

Spike sipped his blood and glanced over his shoulder, hearing the excited buzz of teenagers tingle against his sensitive hearing like annoying chimes in an ever-present wind. He ground his teeth a little, ignored the pheromones that were hanging in the air, thick as equatorial humidity, and looked towards his grandsire, who with a newspaper in front of him, was attempting to do the same. The younger vampire made to speak.

Angel looked up abruptly, with that frightening foresight of his, and silenced him. "I know."

Spike's mouth snapped shut and then, as if to protest, opened again a fraction of a second later, with a counter argument at the ready.

Angel folded the paper, and having anticipated his childer's rejoinder, offered another platitude before the other vampire could speak. "They won't."

Annoyed, but with nothing to say (for the moment) Spike glared.

Angel tossed the newspaper onto the cushion beside him and read the blonde's irritation. "I agree."

Meanwhile, on the stairs of the lobby, Dawn and Conner chattered excitedly, heads so full of one another that they could barely form coherent sentences, let alone realize how much this unnerved their guardians.

"And then I was like, eeuw, I have a boyfriend. I'm not going with you to **prom**."

Conner, eyes sparkling and alight with everything that young love was supposed to ignite in a red-blooded 16-year-old, watched Dawn, hanging on her every word. Spike snorted. **pathetic.**

Angel sipped his blood slowly.

"He left you alone after that, right?"

"Oh totally."

The lad looked rather self-satisfied, smug. A look he must have inherited from his da. "Good. Look, if he bothers you anymore, just call, okay?"

Dawn rolled her eyes; a sign that for the sake of girl power everywhere, was necessary, though the fact that there was a grin encompassing the entirety of her face on over the prospect of his over-protectiveness cancelled it out. "What, like you're going to jack your dad's car and come roaring two-hundred miles from LA to **Sunnydale** just to kick his ass? Robert is **such** a loser anyway."

Conner's brow furrowed slightly. "Of course I would. If he was bothering you."

Spike scoffed internally. **Just like his dad. What a prat.** Outwardly, he looked unimpressed and sipped his dinner.

The young Summers girl jotted a few more notes down into her history notebook, all the while training her eyes on the **son** of her sister's ex-boyfriend while her sister's current boyfriend sat on the couch and chaperoned. Weird. "I'm almost done," she assured him, chewing on her bottom lip apologetically.

He noticed with a little thrill, the way she worried her lip between her teeth when she thought, the way her cheeks were slightly rosy, from when he'd declared his willingness to defend her honor. "There's no hurry," Conner intoned, knowing full well the vampires' hearing was unbelievably good.

At his comment she let out a little laugh. "Oh please. Trying to get on Spike's good side only makes you lose respect with me."

He had the grace to look slightly sheepish. "Well, I want him to like me."

Dawn hurried to scribble the last of her history notes on the chapter, book lying at her feet near Conner's hands. "Spike has a hard time liking **anyone,**" she reminded.

"Heard that, Bit!" Spike barked from the couch, irritated. "Just remember missy, no homework, no date! Your sis is just a speed dial away, ya know!"

Angel threw him a disproving glance. This weekend was supposed to be for the kids.

"Wanker," Spike growled at his grandsire under his breath, though he settled back into his chair.

"Ugh, I can't believe she makes him drive me down here," Dawn whined, mortified at his comments. Yes, she really was five years old still. Throwing a glare towards the couch in the lobby, she hoped he could see her annoyance.

"She doesn't want you to get hurt by yourself. I see that," Conner placated, in that way he did.

"So she sends me with Spike. Yeah, she's not judgment impaired."

"One speed dial, Bitty! Just give me a reason!"

"God, don't you ever stop listening to my conversations?"

This raised a litany of indignance from the blond vampire. "You think I **want** to hear you natter on about your bloody wardrobe and bloody **Robert**? I just can't **help** it! Vampire, **hello**?"

"Ugh!" Dawn made a disgusted noise in the back of her throat, and Conner chuckled at her expression, unable to hold back. She threw him the look of death. "Are you mocking me?"

"What?" His expression stated that he was perfectly alarmed at her accusation. "No! Of course not!"

"Then what with the laughy-ness?"

"It's just... you're so cute when you're annoyed," he admitted shyly.

Her anger dissipated. "Oh."

"Oh **please**! Don't tell me you fell for **that** one, Platelet! Oldest bloody damn trick in the book. **Cute.** Ha! He doesn't see you 7am before school. Bloody **monstrosity,** that is... ouch! Dammit Peaches! What the hell was that for? Hands to yourself!"

"Thank you, Angel," Dawn muttered under her breath. After a second, she closed her notebook. "I'm done! We're leaving!" she announced, flipping her text closed and laying it atop her notebook in the corner of the landing. Conner got up and offered her his hand, pulling her to her feet. She smiled thanks.

"Wait a minute! How is it that when you've got date with son of Peachy here you finish in under an hour, but at home you drag the bloody thing on till half-past midnight?"

"Motivation," she called back instantly, jumping the last flight of stairs and heading to the back office to retrieve her coat. "We'll be back at 1."


She sighed. It had been worth a try. "Fine. Whatever."

"You're a second late, and we can forget about next weekend."

She shrugged into her jacket and glowered. "Overprotective much?"

Spike sighed and tried to look cool. "Well, LA's full of freaks. I mean, look at the Poof, here. An' I don't want you gettin' into trouble, 's all."

Angel glowered at Spike over the freak comment. He turned to the young couple."You kids have fun. Call if you're going to be late. Or if you need anything."

She brightened visibly at the comment as Conner handed her a stake, which she dutifully tucked into the inside pocket of her jacket. "Thanks, Angel! See you guys in a few!"

Grabbing Conner's hand, she pulled him out the front doors, leaving the "fathers" behind to sit and brood.

As silence permeated the hotel, Spike downed the last of his blood. After a moment, he made as if to speak.

Angel picked up his newspaper again. "They won't."

"What if..."

"I know."


"I agree."