The Demon Inside Us Title: The Demon Inside Us
Author: Princess Twilite (J.C.)
Rating: Uh, PG?
Spoilers: Birthday, small one for Couplet.
Summary: The future is a strange place.
Discalimer: Just because I don't own them, doesn't mean that I can't pretend to
" THE DEMON INSIDE US"
There were certain things she rememberd, that she grasped onto like steam from ships that are too far away to see clearly. She held the memories close, laughed over them. Sometimes there were tears. But mostly she just cherished them. They gave her a sense of humanity in the chaos that had become the world.
Swinging on that old tire swing, that memory stuck with her. Her toes just barely reached the ground, touching the morning wet grass. Leaning back and looking up at the sky, where the sun touched the tips of white condos and rich, dreamy mansions. Emotions had swarmed through her small, fluttering heart, expanding her like a bird's fluffy chest at the sound of dawn.
She had circled the tire, spun the rope until it coiled around itself tight- and then she had let go of the ground. Twirled and twirled, her only focal point were her own short, tanned legs that were flaying the air in front of her. She remebered looking at her shiny, messily applied blue toe-nail polish and laughing. Screaming out her joy as the world turned as floppy and childish as she.
Looking up at the moon now, she saw it's fragmented pieces and remembered another night, long ago when the moon had been full and solid. An emperous reigning over the world.
Cordelia brushed her bangs back from her face, smoothing her short bob-cut hair to some sembalance of normalcy. The moon watched down through the sky, twining in and out of the clouds. A fickle lover of the night, Cordy sat at the edge of the roof. Her feet dangling over where the life of L.A. moved below. But she did not watch the people, or the flickering lights, her eyes were focused on that huge orb of white light.
It never ceased to amaze her how solid and real it was. How eternal.
She'd been here for a while, knowing that when Angel was ready to face the truth he would. And that he would have to accept her choice, because it had been her own. It had been the only choice to make really. To save him, and all the family she had ever known.
To be without that, well it wasn't even worth considering. She now knew life without that.
There was no shift in the air when he finally appeared. He was a creature of darkness, that moved fluidly throughout it. As if it were his fantasy world, and his body could not disturb it's peace. She wondered if she ever looked like that, so comfortable, so at one with the world that it was like she'd live forever. Cordy highly doubted it.
He was watching her, his features half obscured by the night. The moon lit only half of his face. It was the truth of that, the reality of it that sometimes seared her. He was part man, part demon. What did that make her now?
" So you're a little calm about this." He said finally. Cordy nodded, kicking her feet a little. As if pushing her momentary doubts and fears aside. She was allowed to have them, it had been merely hours since she had made the choice to become part demon, and keep the visions that would lead Angel to his redemption.
" Yes." She smiled a little at him, crooking her eye brow. " But you're not."
Angel sighed, an old man suddenly. Who knew too much and had done too much. " I am now, well not calm. But there's not much we can do to change it."
" I don't want to change it Angel." She looked away from him, back up at the moon. " Unless I get a tail then I'm hightailing it to the nearest Shaman's and saying screw the Powers That Be." Cordy crossed her fingers behind her back, didn't want to upset them for no reason.
He looked at her oddly. " A tail?" Cordy grimaced, not answering. " Look, I'm just afraid for you. There are aspects of being a demon that are... hard. And you're special, Cordy, I don't want to see anything happen to you. You're important to.."
" Yeah, yeah. The quest, etc. Heard THAT before." She reached over and slapped him on the head. He almost fell off the building in shock.
" Hey. Hey. " He warded off her blows, holding onto her wrists loosly. His lips were wet, shiny in the light, and very close to hers. " What was that for?" She looked away from him, sometimes he was so beautiful it hurt her heart. And she'd vowed to never have her heart get hurt again. Besides, not him. Never him.
" You called me weak." Angel shook his head, the wind ruffled his hair.
" I've never called you.. oh." She turned and glared at him. A lioness pearing out of her lonely, solitary den.
" Yeah. Oh." She sighed and looked away from him again. It was no use trying to stay angry at him, he was as eternal as the moon. And he always found a way to push through her defenses and grab onto something solid inside of her that even SHE didn't know about.
Cordy felt a cool finger trace the line of her cheek, stopping briefly at the corner of her lips. She shivered briefly and wondered why. The night was warm.
" Ah, Cordy." He whispered, scooting closer to her. She looked down at the world beneath her, watched it and feared what strange emotion was twining itself around her stomach. Feared her best friend in a way and didn't even know the reason. " You know I don't think that about you. I was trying to save you."
She laughed ironically. A sarcastic woman, who had her dreams realized and found she hadn't really wanted them in the first place. Being an actress had been a lonely life. Thank god she was home.
" By insulting me?" Her smile felt too big, so bright it hurt. In a good way. " Angel, you shouldn't have." He took her hand, she saw him watching their fingers twine like they had a million times before. There was a peculiar look in his eyes as he pulled her a little bit closer and rested her palm on his thigh. It was solid as rock. His hand pressed down on hers, as if trying to ingrain the feel of her into his skin.
His cheek was a cresent, half glowing. Grinning, he leaned into her. Bumped her shoulder with her own.
" It was the least I could do." More serious now, he looked up at the sky. His neck was open to her, vulnerable, highlighted by the etheral light that surroned them. A sign of trust that made her ache low in her belly, for something that she pushed down deep, over and over again. She didn't want to know what she was aching for. " Things just wouldn't be any good without you Cordy. Conner and I would be lost." Cordy's heart fluttered as it hadn't since she was a child. Somewhere in the distance a siren rang out, loud and aggrivated, a wail of another life lost. Somehow it didn't touch her this time, she was too focused on not grabbing Angel by the ears and not kissing the living shit out of him.
" Angel." She said, too pointedly. He flinched a little, as if her were going to say more and she had interuppted him. It seemd like he always had more to say and yet never said it. " I'm not going anywhere, so stop the melodrama. " She winked to lighten the statement and his face was that of relief. As if he had just extracted a promise she had no awareness of. " Good." He said. His hand tightened around hers, she tried to pretend she didn't notice how he moved it further up his thigh, so close to.. but she didn't think about it. Or the way he seemed to be panting a little. " C-cause ya know, there are certain side effects to-"
" Being a demon, yes, I know." She shifted uncomfortably. The night had certainly been disturbed now. He had pulled a switch on her, sometime weeks ago. And the switch felt a little too edgy, a little too needy. And it scared her as much as it aroused her. " Skip explained it all." She ignored his questioning glance. " But it's not like I'm going to live forever so why spend my time worrying about stuff that might never happen?"
" Right." Angel agreed. His body shifted beneath his leather jacket. As if he were repressed beyond endurance. She wondered just what he was repressing. His eyes on her were like laser beams, too focused, too knowing. A predator tracking it's wary prey.
She took her hand away from his thigh and her hand felt empty.
" I should go." But she didn't move, couldn't yet. There seemed to be a spell wrapped around her, like the moon light.
" You don't have to." He said. They were sitting thigh to thigh now. She didn't remember when but their other hands had begun to connect. She shivered again, there was something... but she wouldn't allow herself to think what. " Not yet. You can stay."
Cordy sighed. She didn't want to leave anyway, so she gave up and leaned her head against his shoulder and eyed the L.A. It seemed to go on indefintely. A straight stretch of buildings and lights on the horizon. It all seemed so very far away. As if the world and it's problems were detatched from this moment.
Felt him kiss her forehead very lightly, so lightly he might not have. But looking up his eyes were on the sky, as if wishing. She wanted to ask him what he was wishing for, but she didn't. Just followed his shadowed eyes, and watched the moon grin a little lopsidedly down at them.
' I know something you don't know.' She seemed to say. ' I know something you don't know...'
Cordy laughed softly, rubbing small tears away from her face. The moon now was farther away and had crumbled like a child's cookie. It was funny really. How she had come to live forever and seen even the moon fall away. Maybe the world was a strange place now, with more chaos then order, but she found she loved it. Found that even with the absense of her first family, there would always be...
" I always find you here." Cordelia didn't jump or start. She had known Angel was there, behind her, ever watchful with his loving, lustful eyes.
" Ah," She said, turning, leaning against the tree. " The key word I think is that you always find me."
" Yes." He laughed, pressing his long, cool body into hers. The bark felt rough against her back. She yearned for him but played the game. " Remember when you ran off to fight in the World War of 2150. I had to track you down and throw you over my shoulder just to get you home."
Cordelia laughed with him, tossing her long dark hair behind her shoulder. " But not before I kicked some serious ass." Angel groaned and rolled his eyes before kissing her forehead firmly.
" How could I forget?" He turned and threw her over her should again. It was so reminicent of the old days that she didn't mind. But if it became a habit like it had after the war, she was going to brain him.
" Cave man." She muttered, her hair obscured her view partially. But she saw quite clearly the ruins that had once been L.A. She giggled when he tickled her bare feet. The world had changed a lot, but they always ended up back here, in L.A. together. No matter how many wars they fought.
It was a beautiful fate.
" Who'd have thought I'd live forever?" She asked him as he ran through the forest in search of their home.
" Me." He yelled, over the wind. " I've always known it. It was my greatest wish."
" Good thing you took that paranormal prophalactic. Or it would have been a very frustrating four hundred and thirty-seven years." And by the feel of Angel's rumbling laughter, he whole- heartedly agreed.
One more look at the ruins. The scattered pieces of the moon that hung over the deserted city, and she settled down to enjoy the ride.
Note: I felt I need a break from the dark and dreary. What do you think? A sequel?
Feedback please, it soothes my weary heart.