You Sick, Sick Man (4/5)
by
LaLa247
Angel reclined in
Wesley's leather chair, grasping Lindsey's 'hand' in his. "No, Angel-"
Angel muttered in a cartoonish voice. "Don't chop off my hand...woooo..."
He made the hand 'walk' across the desk. Yes, this is what boredom (and
insanity) will do to a 248 year old vampire with feelings he didn't know how to
handle. That, and
there was nothing to do. The vampire had literally been banished to the offices
after scaring the hell out of Fred with the hand. Come on, it wasn't scary. It
was funny! Okay, he had been the only one chuckling, but that's not the point.
The point was that- Angel looked out the window to a bent over Cordelia- that
Cordelia looked really cute in that skirt. Nice pink number, contrasting with
the white tailored business shirt she wore. Angel leaned back in the chair
more, getting a better view. Nice clear sandals, hair pinned up in waves, and
clean face. Beautiful. Before Angel knew it, the chair had tipped over, sending
the man flying to the floor.
Angel hastily jumped to his feet and immediately blushed. There stood Gunn,
Wesley, Cordelia, and Fred; all peering through the window at the man. All had
the same expression that said simply: What a dumbass. Angel picked up the chair
and walked to the door. "Can I come out now?" he whined.
Wesley unlocked the office door calmly. "Will you behave, Angel?"
Angel nodded. "Act like a- a...normal person?" Angel nodded again,
this time more persistent. The Watcher nodded reluctantly. "Okay, then. You
may join us again."
Angel giddily hopped out of the office, running to the couch. He plopped down,
grabbing a huge book. Cordelia sat next to the vampire, crossing her long legs
slowly. Angel tried his hardest to focus on the book, but his eyes traveled up
the girl's legs. He started to imagine touching her legs, caressing them,
kissing her- "I'm going to paint the hand's nails."
Cordelia gave Angel a look of utter disgust, and maybe fear. "Oh. My.
God!" She exclaimed, dramatically moving to
the edge of the couch. Gunn looked up from his papers, instinctively guarding
Fred. "Angel-" Cordelia tried again. "I TOLD you to get rid of
that damn thing."
Angel fidgeted. "But it's cool...it's plastic...and it feels cool on your
fingertips..."
The rest of the A.I. team looked at each other. Cordelia rubbed her head.
"Oh. My. God."
_____________________________________________
Angel whispered in Cordelia's ear again. Cordelia moved her head away, annoyed.
"Angel!" She moved her chair away from the computer, and away from
Angel. "I won't go see freakin' Omega Man with you! Leave me alone!"
Angel pouted openly. "B-But it's a great movie...a man alone-"
"I've heard it." Cordelia stood up. "What was I thinking telling
Wes I could handle you while they went to see that swami? I must be going craz-"
"I'm not crazy!!!"
Cordelia dropped the paper she was holding. "I wasn't talking about you
butt monkey! Paranoid much?!"
Angel blushed. "Sorry...sorry..."
Cordelia walked out of the office, Angel on her toes. She spun around, causing
Angel to stumble back a few steps. "Do you mind?"
Angel played with his shirt tails nervously. "Gotta stay near you...just in
case..."
Cordelia placed her hands on her hips. "So. You wanna fight?"
The man blinked in surprise. "HUH."
"I'm just sayin', you're harassing me constantly...picking a fight..."
Angel stared at her blankly. The Seer nodded matter-of-factly. "I'll get my
sweats." She walked to the office, leaving Angel in shock.
_____________________________________________
Angel hopped around nervously. "Cordy- I don't wanna fight-" He stared
at the girl, pulling her hair into a ponytail. "And here?!" He
motioned toward the lobby. "At least the basement-"
"Here is fine." Cordelia interrupted, balling her hands up.
"Let's go, baby."
Baby? Angel slowly took stance, trying to control his shaking hands. Cordelia
swung, and Angel blocked. A kick followed, this time Angel barely blocked it.
This continued on in silence for a couple of minutes, the only sound was the
loud smacking of fist against hand. Suddenly-
"You nuts or what?" Cordelia panted, swinging again.
Angel blocked, hopping to his left. "What?"
"You heard me. Come on, the hand...scaring the Scoobs, harassing
Fred...what's the deal?"
"I don't know what you're talking about." For some reason, Angel found
himself throwing Cordelia's punch away with a sudden force. She was thrown back
a couple of steps, staring at Angel in shock. He was in a similar state.
Cordelia immediately swung again, connecting with Angel's face. He stumbled
back. "OW!"
Cordelia's hands went up to her face in surprise. "Oh my God- Angel!"
She rushed towards him. "I'm so sorry-" Angel tackled the girl by the
waist, knocking them both to the floor. The Seer screeched, trying to knock the
vampire off her.
"I'm not crazy-" Angel grunted, forcing Cordelia's shoulders to the
floor. "Lorne just said I got issues-" Cordelia was gaining momentum.
"-That I don't know how to handle-" She lifted her upper body up.
"-Feelings...I can't control-" The girl sat up abruptly, pushing Angel
off. "-And those feelings are making me....nuts."
Cordelia stood up at the same time as Angel did, and grabbed the man by the
shirt and swinging him WWF style into the couch. The couch slid a couple of
inches by the force of the relatively large man. "So-" Cordelia
muttered, grabbing Angel's arm. "You're crazy?"
Angel swung over and grabbed Cordelia's shoulder. "Something like
that-" He swung the girl around, bringing her to the floor. Cordelia
quickly tripped Angel, and before he knew it, had landed on top of the Seer. The
two both groaned in pain, for Cordelia had the scary experience of a grown man
falling on her, and Angel had Cordelia's
knee on his pride and joy.
Angel grimaced in pain. "If you want me to be crazy-" He panted,
leaning painfully on his elbows. "-I'll be crazy..."
Cordelia lifted her head. "Then you're crazy, Hamlet..." The two
stared at each other, their faces inches apart. Something in Cordelia's eyes
changed. "Angel..."
"WHAT THE HELL IS GOIN' ON?!" Angel and Cordelia looked up. Their
friends stared at them. Gunn glared at Angel. "Get the HELL off
Barbie."
Angel quickly jumped to his feet. "I-I...she took my hand!"
Cordelia rolled her eyes, standing up. "I'm gonna change."
Angel defensively reached under the couch cushion, pulling out the fake hand.
"I found it..."
Fred glanced at Gunn, creeped out. Gunn shook his head. "You one
crazy..."
TBC...